Pointy Prologue
by Lord Ficmungus
Summary: I wonder how this one's gonna end guys.


" _I believe Colonel Mustard did it in the study with the candlestick."_

\- Death, _Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey_

* * *

By the time Giselle had penetrated the old ruined chapel's defenses, the forces of darkness were already fixating on penetrating her.

An ominous night chill flowed through the collapsed roof, making Giselle feel like cold steel was prickling through her skin. As she cautiously walked through the outer cloister, she passed a row of topless Greek beauties sculpted out of marble. She didn't notice one of them bore a small hole from where a vandal had driven a chisel into her stone heart. Lightning burst overhead, casting a shadow on the wall looked like one of the jagged ceiling planks was coming down and impaling Giselle's shadow straight through the chest. The author may have been laying on the foreshadowing just a little too thick.

A simple farm maid from a neighboring village, Giselle had grown up playing with her family's archery equipment. Now in her young adulthood, she was a proficient sniper who was willing to put her own life at stake when no other heroes had appeared. She wore a light blue and white dress, with a shortened skirt that allowed more agility when she was fighting. Her long blonde hair was tied in a French bun. She held a crossbow in her arms and wore a bolt quiver around her waist. A small splash of perfume masked her presence from werewolves and vampires with the scent of flowers. A small splash of her blood would give Dracula enough power to take over the world.

She found the cultists gathered in a circle around the coffin, with the head priest Shaft standing above them at an altar. Each of the hooded followers had swords married to their scabbards. Only one sword was brandished in the open, held in the fist of one of the druids. Luckily for this poor lonesome blade, it was mere moments away from slipping into its lovely new sheath.

Giselle hid in the shadows as she listened to the Dracula worshipers chanting in forbidden tongues. If only she had known they were speaking of the wondrous and despicable things they were going to do to the first innocent maiden who crossed their path.

Giselle pulled a knife from her garter. She launched out of her hiding spot and plunged into the center of the druids almost as quickly as the sword that was about to plunge through her flesh. Her entire body seemed to sparkle with holy magic as she put three of the druids down with a spinning kick and stabbed a fourth with her knife. She never suspected she would be returning the favor in a matter of minutes.

Giselle pulled a bolt from her sash and loaded her crossbow, focusing her magic so the weapon began to glow. Aiming past the rows of candles, she line up her shot straight for Shaft's heart. She had come to kill Dracula's dark priest and stop the resurrection in its tracks.

And then continuity reared its ugly head.

Shaft reached toward her in a silent incantation. Giselle froze with a look of shock as she felt her throat tighten. A choker decorated with the symbol of the dragon appeared around her neck, sealing her magic defenses and leaving her powerless. She lost track of her surroundings as she tried to pull the cursed jewelry off.

Polished brass struck Giselle on the back of her head, sending her toppling face-first to the ground. A druid she hadn't accounted for loomed over her back with an empty candelabrum in his hand.

The cultists surrounded her the same way her internal organs were about to surround the edges of a finely-sharpened sword. Shaft remained at the head of the altar, pointing silently toward the coffin. The chamber echoed with the sounds of cloth and leather being ravenously torn to pieces before he even spoke in his raspy, senile voice.

"Prepare her body for the sacrifice."

The servants were all too kind. They helped Giselle out of her layers of burdensome hunting gear, leaving with nothing but the magic choker that made her as helpless as a lamb out to slaughter. Then they adorned her with a lush red sheet that would slip off of her bare form with the slightest resistance and placed her on the coffin.


End file.
